A Dam For a Flood
Thousands of years ago, in the first world, Eve was a she.
People were made to wear clothes which marked class differences by how
much they cost. Adam and Eve lived in Eden but were expelled by God
because Eve ate a forbidden apple and/or fellated the head of a serpent,
depending on which version you read. They made a bunch of paintings
about it, now in the Facial Museum. The most famous facial was called
Mona.
Scientists conjectured that Adam was a humanist veil for
Atom, the former being a poster-boy for natural conception, as supposed
to the latter's godless scientific implication. At the time, they were
busy deciphering the smallest of particles and grouping them into a
system of concentric circles. The center was marked x-a coefficient
that represented infinite fractions dividing forever – but the
former United States of America mistook it for a target and blew it
up.
They said cockroaches would be the only thing left. They
were wrong. New Jersey withstood The Fog, during which our ancestors
survived solely on dietary supplements and male hormones. Needless to
say, Eve became a man. In fact, everyone became male. Women were to
only exist in memories.
When the fog finally cleared, Eve looted some pants, got a job as a
clerk and rented an apartment. Residents in apartments were lonely.
In houses they were fat, and in farms they had difficultly spelling.
Eve's transition to a man ruined her pelvis and spine. He wore large
plastic apparatus that held his spine in place - shaped like a woman,
with the beginnings of curves that implicated hips. Eve called the apparatus
Angle, after his ex-girlfriend. The real Angle left Eve to finish her
degree. She majored in Physics and minored in falling for him. Gravity,
she once told him, is not a form of falling down, but being stuck to
something big.
This never actually happened.
As a new civilization on earth, they had only one moment in history: B12 O.D. They needed stories to tell their children, to write folk songs about. Fortunately, the 'literal' books-on-tape withstood The Fog, for the carbon mapped audio component was uncorrupted during the Binary War [circa 2014] which evaporated wireless frequencies in the air made free to all in the preceding years. They listened to ESL tapes; therein, they learned not only the colloquialisms of the former world, but more importantly, of their culture of love - a widely popular sentiment which preceded The Serotonin Collapse. They had girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives; all vehicles for absorbing this endless wandering vectors of love.
I am carrying around Linear, a large plastic apparatus that holds my
back in place. Linear and Angle are similar gals, except mine was made
in Thailand. When I put her on, I assume "the position", which
on the first world's evolutionary chart is the third guy from the left.
'Get it straight', Linear once said to me. I punched her in the mouth.
She left me on a tangent, etc., etc. (Been falling behind on the books-on-tape,
not sure if this sounds like relationship material. According to the
pamphlet, Linear has large breasts and is from San Diego.)
In the popular game show "Wheel of Fortune", contestants spun
around a large wheel segmented by different tiers of value, which were
color-coded. Each color spread out from the radius to the perimeter
like a ray. The object was, through the eventual aggregate of exposed
letters, to decipher a particular phrase. The wheel spun clock-wise,
as if hurrying the present into a future of wealth. Pat Sajak was the
host of the game show, and much like most hosts of game shows, didn't
age.
Eve and I broke our backs at that show. Eve had his legs
braced through the pegs and he was holding his upper body in the air
like a frozen sit-up. I was pushing him around, trying to make the wheel
spin around as fast enough to make him vomit.
It was a flash of light, and then I was down.
Eve's arm hit my leg but his leg in the wheel kept going and snap crackle
and pop he broke his back. Later that year, Eve hired someone to break
my back with a baseball bat.
I never got his name, but he had a great swing.
Equanimity is water's one lesson - I starting thinking
this when the Rain of Even hit. It searched for equal ground, collecting
into itself. The phrase “it's raining cats and dogs” comes
from England. Before their complete domestication, cats and dogs lived
on the roofs homes. When it rained very hard, they would slip and fall,
thus the phrase.
“It's raining men” is only a song.
That's when I met Eve for the first time.
Everybody went into Wal-mart and sealed up the doors. Needless to say, there was quite a selection of things to eat. They stayed there for four more years, four more years, four more years, ad infin. Finally, the rain cleared and all the oven and microwave clocks in the world went back to flashing 12:00. The housing market went sky high, so high in the sky people mistook it for a recently resurrected ascending man.
In the old days, when a man made love to a man, it was called homosexual
or gay. Gay grew into a term that signified anything deserving mockery
or contempt. One’s father, although he did not have sex with another
man, would be marked gay simply by his choice of sandals. It is said
that Aristotle and Socrates were gay. Other gay combos are (partial
list): Will + Grace, Mercury + Bowie, "Man" Ray + Duchamp,
Henry + James + Joyce.
The missionary position, in which a man [oo==D] penetrates a supine
woman [(. )( .)] from between her legs [\,/], implicates the psychological
aspect of human lovemaking, as partners are face-to-face [}{]. Simply
the phrase love 'making' itself implies the creation of an abstract
entity. This abstraction may the mirrored in the face of its host during
orgasm [ ~o]. Sodomy [(*)], however, is quite simple.
How can I be more subtle? Eve and I are lovers.
By the way, I'm Adam.
Jimmy Chen was born into a world we unwittingly share.