Phone Call About an Email in Reference to a Text About an Incident Which Occurred in Real Life
The phone call about an email in reference to a text about an incident which occurred in real life lasted only ten seconds, enough to say "I can't talk right now," because the man who answered the call was on the bus and didn't want his fellow passengers hearing about the clinical details of his erectile dysfunction, whose latest related-incident provoked the text "haha" which his girlfriend accidentally sent him instead of a friend. The email was a letter of apology sent by his girlfriend to him, after he immediately texted her back "wtf." His girlfriend explained in the email that, while she was only joking and was really sorry, she was in fact concerned about his erectile dysfunction's effect on his self-esteem, the true mark of a man's virility. She suggested—careful to say the only reason she was even bringing it up (no pun intended) was because of the dialog at hand—that he visit his doctor; that pride would get him nowhere here. He said it wasn't pride, but apprehension towards having his prostrate coaxed to its full capacity by a proctologist's index finger. It wasn't pride, but prod he was concerned about. The real life incident precedes this account by approximately six hours. The afflicted man had just attempted and failed to copulate with his girlfriend of over four years. She spooned him from behind as he recounted an image of his mother's face under a layer of ocean that haunted him as a child. The layer of ocean was evoked with the deft hand of a painter, its artifice suggesting that the drowning was merely aesthetic and not real. When he woke, he always ran to his mother's room to weep. "What does this have to do with me?" would have been an inappropriate question, so the girlfriend just nodded from behind, making sure her chin jutted into his back so he knew nodding had commenced. The phone call about the email in reference to the text about that incident which occurred in real life was never continued because the participants of the call lived together and would be able to finish the conversation in real life.
Jimmy Chen lives in San Francisco, where he works at a large institution and enjoys writing. He is a contributing writer at HTMLGIANT. His work has recently appeared in Pank, Kill Author, and Knee Jerk.