Excerpts from "The Road," by Woody Allen
They walked the road, man and boy, amid the ruined land
and blackened trees and the blowing clouds of ash. Soon they came
upon a litter of decayed and rotted corpses.
I'm scared, Papa.
I know.
Are we going to die too?
There are worse things than dying. Have you ever been to a cocktail
party?
The boy stopped and peered back down the road. There are people coming,
he said.
The man drew his pistol. We have to get off the road and into the
woods.
Maybe they're like us. Maybe they're the good guys.
We cant be sure.
Will they kill us?
Yes. And then they'll eat us.
But why?
Because it's next to impossible to find food these days. Also, a dependable
plumber.
I'm scared.
Let's hide.
Okay.
Okay.
* * *
They lay by their fire in the impenetrable darkness, huddled together
in a filthy, ragged blanket. The boy fell asleep for a time and then
awoke with a start.
I'm scared.
You were just dreaming. Tell me about it.
I dreamt that someone broke into our camp and tried to sell me a set
of encyclopedias.
It was only a nightmare.
Okay.
Okay.
The boy's eyes gradually shut and once more he fell asleep. The man
watched him for a long time and thought: He is the one good thing
that is left in this world, assuming there are no longer any co-eds.
* * *
He woke in the dull morning light and pulled off the blanket and walked
a distance from the camp. Bending over, he began to cough until he
spat blood. When he returned to camp, the boy was awake and watching
him.
I heard you, Papa. You're going to die, arent you?
No. Come on. We have to keep moving.
Okay.
They gathered their meager things and made their way back out to the
road and trudged along it, slumped and shivering in their rags. They
walked all day in silence through the world that could never be put
back and then the man stopped and turned to the boy and said, Did
I ever tell you about my Uncle Irving? Got fined for talking to an
Armenian on the Sabbath.
Ralph Gamelli is probably wearing a T-shirt with holes in it.