Signature Plays of the Literary Field
Pulling a Nietzsche: having syphilis or a huge mustache, having
to say “God is dead” to justify your position in a debate
Pulling a Poe: marrying your cousin or knowing more than three people
who have tuberculosis
Pulling a Plath: staring into space for several minutes with a hopeless
expression (also “pulling a Kafka”), ranting about your
dad
Pulling a Vonnegut: being classified in a genre you feel you don't
belong, illustrating your own book… badly
Pulling a Homer: having anonymous work attributed to you while not
actually existing
Pulling an Austen: gossiping about socially sensitive topics, falling
for someone who seems complicated but is in actuality a dark-haired
douchebag
Pulling a King: allowing film adaptations of your work to not even
remotely resemble the material, making shit up as you go along
Pulling a Twain: making a flagrantly anti-Christian remark while
politely conversing with a Christian, also having a large mustache
Pulling a Dawkins, Diamond, or Darwin: getting into any debate lasting
longer than half an hour which involves evolution, religion, or the
planet Earth as a whole
Pulling a Sappho: being a huge lesbian, being part of a huge lesbian
commune, writing primarily about that
Pulling a Shakespeare: killing everyone in the end, relying heavily
on mistaken identity
Pulling a Sparks: catering to the delusional expectations of a young
teen girl(s)
Pulling a Steel: role-playing the fantasy of a married woman
Pulling a Wilde: saying something ironic even as you're dying
Pulling a Cummings: making no fucking sense
Pulling a Freud: making a sex joke where none should be, doing coke “for
school”
Pulling a Palahniuk: telling a story specifically for its grossness,
having a God complex
Pulling a Hunter S.: doing a ridiculous combination of drugs, being
at work while on a ridiculous combination of drugs
Pulling a Bukowski: rambling at a bar, not giving a shit who likes
your work (loudly)
Shayn Nicely’s article on sex in the Bible finally got published in Cracked! Then translated! INTO POLISH! On an unrelated note, she is getting her motherfucking groove back.