Jesus Issues a Response to His Followers Regarding His Decision to Back the Roman Occupation of Judea
Apostles,
I want to take this opportunity to speak directly to those of you
who oppose my decision to support The Empire's dominion over our
homeland.
This was not an easy call for me. I know that the commands of earthly
power and its handmaiden Mammon are far from perfect. I wouldn't
have drafted the decrees like this, and it does not resolve all of
the concerns that we have about the Divine Imperator Octavian Caesar's
abuse of tribunician power. It grants retroactive immunity, both
in this life and in the next one, to Army soldiers that may have
violated the law by cooperating with Caesar's program of crucifixion.
This potentially weakens the deterrent effect of the law and removes
an important tool for the Jewish people to fruitlessly demand accountability
for past death sentences. That's why I support striking Empire Mandate
No. 2 from the law tablets, and will work with Pontius Pilate and
High Priest Caiaphas in an effort to remove this fiat.
But I also believe that the compromise decree is far better than
the "Crush the People of Israel" doctrine that I've been
preaching against since last year. The exclusivity provision makes
it clear to any quaestor or consul that no law — certainly not one
ordered by the commander of the mightiest army in the world — supersedes
the largely ornamental power of the Roman Senate. In a dangerous
world, our masters must have the authority to collect the rumors
we need to protect the Judean people. But in a client state of a
military monarchy, that authoritas cannot be unlimited, at least
not publicly.
The ability to stab and clandestinely murder zealots who want to
attack the Pax Romana is a vital counter-terrorism tool, and I'm
persuaded that it is necessary to keep the Judean people safe— particularly since certain prophecies (hint, hint) will begin to
expire later this summer. Given the choice between acknowledging
an improved yet imperfect fiat from the mouths of a living god in
Italy, and losing important tools of violence, I've chosen to support
the current compromise. I do so with the firm intention -- once I'm
anointed Procurator of Judea — to have General Valerius conduct
a comprehensive review of all our punishment programs.
Now, I understand why some of you feel differently about me renouncing
the Kingdom of God, and I'm happy to take my lumps on this side and
elsewhere. For the truth is that your organizing, your activism and
your passion is an important reason why this new imperial diktat
is better than previous versions. No tool has been more important
in focusing peoples' attention on the abuses of the Empire's brutal
might than the active and sustained engagement of my followers. That
holds true -- not just on crucifixion, idolatry, taxation, but on
a range of issues where Rome has let the Jewish people down.
(We'll probably keep doing that stuff though, FYI. Two masters, remember?)
I learned long ago, when working as an organizer on the seedy side
of Nazareth, that when disciples join their voices together, they
can hold their leaders accountable. Although I'm without sin, I expect
to be held accountable. From a distance, of course. But I do promise
to listen to your assembled shouts in my courtyard from time to time
and occasionally to throw a bone to you when I'm not bored. Your
passion is why we have built the largest mass religious movement
in the history of monotheism.
Glorious and immortal Rome is made up of many subject peoples. As
we move forward in expanding our borders, some of you may decide
that my decision to go along with the occasional ethnic cleansing
of your numbers based on the whim of a possibly insane potentate
is a deal breaker. And that's OK. But I think it is worth pointing
out that our agreement on the vast majority of issues that matter,
like your not being killed and your regular payment of taxes, outweighs
the differences we have in mind. Many of you have expressed some
disappointment in my decisions, including the donning vestments of
costly gold and accepting tribute from the Temple money-changers,
for reasons that are largely opaque to me. If we come together, we
have an historic opportunity to chart a new course in interpreting
the will of the Emperor.
So I appreciate the feedback graffiti that I've been reading in the
Forum. (Next time you do it, it's the stones for you.) Together,
we — by which I mean you — have a lot of work to do.
Jason Rhode is from West Texas, and one day he shall command all the good lads in Eastcheap. He met you at a very odd time in his life.