My Wedding is Differences
Because we met on the night shift waxing floors at the Oregon State Hospital, Luisa is proposing the theme "People Helping People," the official motto of the Oregon State Hospital. I am proposing the theme "In by Eleven, Out by Eight, Quality and Service You'll Appreciate," the official motto of the dry cleaners up the street from the hospital. Not only does the motto describe the hours of our shift, but quality and service are obviously two important elements in a lasting bond between young newlyweds. Also, the dry cleaners has a rare, original, though slightly sun-bleached One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest poster mounted behind the counter.
Luisa wants to spend a good portion of our limited budget to fly
her grandmother Dominga in from Miami. I would like to fly in Louise
Fletcher. It was on the very spot where Louise Fletcher removed her
dress and stood in only her panties, so as to prove that she was
not "a cold-hearted monster," that I proposed to Luisa.
I know it was that very spot because it is marked by a plaque that
refers to Louise Fletcher's act as an inspirational example of "People
Helping People."
For her vows, Luisa is proposing a set of verses composed by an inmate
she has befriended. For my vows, I am proposing that I recite the
lines, "I'm here to cooperate with you a hundred percent. A
hundred percent. I'll be just right down the line with you. You watch."
Luisa would like her cousin Eduardo, who delivers for a florist,
to provide our flowers. I believe we can save money by limiting ourselves
to a single flower that we will name "Beauregard." The
makeup artist who worked on Louise Fletcher during One Flew Over
the Cuckoo's Nest was Fred B. Phillips (credited as Fred Phillips).
Fred B. Phillips was also the makeup artist for Star Trek,
aka Star Trek: TOS (USA: promotional abbreviation), aka Star
Trek: The Original Series (USA: informal title). In the first
season of Star Trek, in the very first episode, the following
line is spoken:
Yeoman Janice Rand: [to one of Sulu's plants]: Hello, Beauregard. How are you today, darling?
The full name of Fred B. Phillips (26 April 1908 – 21 March
1993) is Frederick Beauregard Phillips.
Luisa favors invitations in the simple and traditional mode. I would
like our invitations to have the format of an IMDb page, with all
the elements of such a page, such as "Tagline" ("People
Helping People") and "Plot Keywords" (Floor Wax; Grand
Theft Auto IV; Chewing Gum; Undressing on the Set; Bus; Dry Cleaning;
Supervisor Who Is a Scumbag; Reference to Nuptials in Title; etc.).
For music, Luisa proposes a mixtape that will appeal to the variety
of musical tastes among our guests. I am proposing a recording of
the buzzing of cicadas. Such a recording would honor the memory of
Will Sampson. It is well known that when Craig T. Nelson, Will Sampson's
co-star in Poltergeist 2: The Other Side, approached Will
Sampson's grave and said, "Hey Will, it's Craig," the buzzing
of the cicadas, which had been overwhelming, tapered off and stopped
entirely.
For post-ceremony transportation, Luisa proposes to enlist the services
of her cousin Eduardo, who moonlights as a limo driver. I propose
that we beg, borrow, or steal a vintage full-sized Ford Galaxie 500
or Ford LTD 4-door sedan, the models featured prominently in the
many chase scenes in The Streets of San Francisco (TV series,
1972-1977). The sacrifice made by Michael Douglas in leaving a popular
television series in order to produce One Flew Over the Cuckoo's
Nest further exemplifies, in my view, the kind of sacrifice that
is critical to the success of a lasting bond between young newlyweds.
For our wedding night, Luisa proposes a comfortable but affordable
motel. On this point we are in agreement. I have thought of proposing
that the motel be in the city of Depoe Bay, described as "the
world's smallest harbor," from which the acclaimed fishing excursion
originates in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, but I do not wish
to leave myself vulnerable to a sarcastic
retort from Luisa concerning the size of the diamond in her engagement
ring.